What Darrell Kopke Taught Me About Being Audacious
Last night I braved the thunder and lightning to squeeze into institute B’s sold out Goal Achieving Seminar on “How to Live an Audacious Life”. I was intrigued by this rather bold statement and was curious to see how I could apply it to my personal situation. I arrived expecting Darrell Kopke to offer a set of tips. What I left with was something much more valuable.
I learned that being audacious starts with being brave enough to discover what we really love to do, outside of anybody else’s expectations. And then going on to actually do something about it. Because only then can we really figure out how to be the change we want to see in the world and our life.
Unfortunately, most of us are afraid to really dig deep and discover what we’re truly passionate about because we worry that we won’t be able to find a way to do it that feels “safe” or “right”. Many of us are also afraid to admit what truly makes us happy because it scares us to realize how much responsibility we have over our own lives.
Audacious is living in the present
The present is elusive and is largely defined by our attitudes toward the past and the future. Oftentimes however, we misconstrue the past into something that shames us. We also end up dismissing the future as something that is too inaccessible and abstract. In order to make the best of the present, we have to allow the past to inform us while recognizing that we can determine the future that we want for ourselves.
Audacious is making choices, not decisions
In realizing that we have the power to create the future while living in the present, we begin to see the difference between making decisions and making choices. Decisions are determined by external conditions. Choices are made by the individual. When we learn to tell the difference between outside determinants and our authentic selves, we start making our own choices instead of being cornered into decisions.
Audacious means no complaining or blaming others
Refusing to take responsibility for our own actions makes us stagnant because it means that we are relying on others to make things happen. Taking on full responsibility for ourselves is not only humbling, it’s a call to action. “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me.”
Audacious values honesty over looking good
In getting to know our authentic selves, we also need to be ready to introduce that self to others. Being honest and real helps us to better communicate with the people who matter. Think about it. When do we ever make those real connections? With people who looked good? Or with people who were honest about their vulnerability and in turn made us feel safe enough to be honest about ours? “Be with people who inspire you, not expire you.”
Audacious never quits
Not everything works out right away. Being audacious is not allowing setbacks to discourage us. Instead, they push us to review and revise. “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly to begin with”. If we’ve set a goal that is clearly contextualized within what we are really passionate about, then there’s no question we will achieve it. Audacious never quits because it breeds itself.
At the end of the night, Darrell left me with this “audacious” challenge: Find out what I love to do. Find out what I’m truly awesome at. Find out how to become even more awesome at it so that I can be the change that I want to see in my life. And from there, look beyond the task of setting goals and begin to turn my life into the mission of achieving them.
Last night I swallowed my fear and dared myself to put pen to paper on my personal goal achieving statement.
Now I challenge you to do the same.
By Alyssa Sy de Jesus